God of War’s Mimir spends most of his time hanging from the hip of a Spartan god, making snide comments about the world around him, all of which he views from crotch level. But it’s mostly things he’s already seen – realms he’s visited and places he’s familiar with. Imagine a completely confused Mimir strapped to the hip of Homer Simpson, forced to watch as he jumps around the land of chocolate in pursuit of a bouncing bunny.
Sure, he’s a Nordic God, part of a pantheon of mythological deities, but when you’ve seen Hel, the world between worlds, and Midgard during Fimbulwinter, a post-apocalyptic New Vegas Strip is hardly going to be what breaks you. And who knows, maybe Mimir could finally find a friend somewhere in one of these other realms. Someone who isn’t a giant, angry, axe-wielding god slayer.
Fallout: New Vegas
Smartest man alive and ambassador to gods, there’s nobody better to guide us through taking over New Vegas. Yes Man? No, man. The House? Burn it down. You don’t need Caesar’s Legion or the NCR when you have Mimir plopped down on a table somewhere, probably getting tetanus in his open-ended head hole, talking you through how to run a country.
The one thing missing in New Vegas is a good right-hand man. Everyone bosses you around and sends you to do this and that, making every major decision by yourself. It’s lonely, first of all, but it’s also a lot of pressure. I don’t know if I want to wipe out the Boomers or pal up with the cannibals, but a little back-and-forth with Mimir would certainly help me figure out a plan forward. And he’s suffered Odin’s wrath first-hand, so I’d like to think he knows a crappy leader when he sees one.
Unless you’re playing with friends, Minecraft is pretty lonely – notice a theme? I just want a mate to bear through these empty worlds with, and Mimir is that mate. I could put him on my crafting table and have a chat while I wait for the iron to smelt, take him with me as I fight the Ender Dragon, with him helpfully yelling, “Watch out, brother! Behind you!” We’re comrades. I could even stick him in my left hand with a torch jammed into his forehead. Now I’ve got a lantern that talks which is perfect for boring strip mine sessions.
The Simpsons Game
Mimir gives cracking commentary on a world he’s already incredibly familiar with, so imagine the chaos of seeing a bunch of yellow cartoon people throwing hands in a meta video game. Of all the things that could cause Mimir to have an existential crisis, putting up with Homer’s stupidity might be the thing to finally do it. And then you have everything surrounding Homer. Forget the World Serpent – we have evil dolphins, the creator of this world in the digital flesh, and Bat-Bart.
He can’t do much but talk, to be fair, since he is a severed head. But that’s just what the Simpsons need, someone like Mimir to kick them up the rear and tell them that all of this is a little bit off the rails. Then again, he tried that with Kratos and Atreus, and that didn’t really work out. But it’s nice to have a voice of reason during all the chaos.
Mimir is treated like shit. Less so in Ragnarok, but he’s given the nickname ‘head’ by the man who beheaded him and forced him to hang around his arse. I can’t think of anything more humiliating. Except maybe being a severed head that’s spoon-fed by a giant brutish Spartan god making aeroplane noises while you rest on a bib. Luckily, I don’t think Kiryu is that kinda guy.
Instead, Kiryu could give Mimir the pop idol lifestyle he deserves. He can’t do much since he’s a head, but maybe he can regale the public with a few of his Nordic lullabies, boasting quick-time-event dance scenes that have him jiggle his eyebrows or slightly fumble around. We could play dress-up, giving Mimir a facelift that screams star. He certainly has the X-Factor. We could even roll him about the street in a wheelbarrow to have dance-offs with other severed heads. Actually, that might be the worst form of torture he’s ever endured, but it’d still be fun for me.
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