You remember Grelod the Kind? The evil owner and operator of Honorhall Orphanage in Riften? Well, if not, she’s the first person you have to kill as part of the Dark Brotherhood line of quests. She’s a horrible lady that seems to enjoy torturing children, so killing her really isn’t all that big a deal.
There are lots of ways to go about killing Grelod, from the obvious route of walking up to her and stabbing her in the chest to poisoning her tea while she sleeps. But perhaps the best way to kill her is to not kill her at all. Instead, just let her assistant do the murdering for you.
We’ve got Reddit user Awesomedude5687 to thank for this method of Grelod disposal. Step one is to cast Courage on assistant Constance Michel and a few of the kids–this will keep them from running away and also make them turn hostile against any creature that attacks them. Then you cast Fury on Grelod to make her attack the nearest person, which will be the recently encouraged assistant slash children.
Constance and the children cannot be killed, but Grelod has literally two HP. This means that even a slight jab is fatal to Grelod, but Constance goes full WWE by performing a German suplex.
Presto! Grelod is dead and nobody is the wiser, because Skyrim is a nine-year-old game and doesn’t have AI complex enough to recognize when an NPC murders another NPC because of player chicanery.
If that wasn’t enough Skyrim silliness for you today, may I interest you in a Skyrim charcuterie board? The Spriggan Sap is piping fresh, and there’s a sweet roll in it for you.
And if not, just remember that the dragons in Skyrim can sometimes turn into goats, and sometimes vice-versa. You never know what you’re going to fight until you look.
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