The New Monster Hunter Movie Trailer Does Dragon A Bit

For whatever reason, Paul W. S. Anderson’s schlocky Resident Evil films proved to be far more successful than they had any right to be. Somehow Anderson, Sony, and Capcom managed to squeeze out six movies that were very loosely based on the horror game franchise. In fact, they rarely had much to do with the games at all. But they had zombies and Milla Jovovich got to dual-wield pistols, so what more could you want?

If you thought Anderson played fast and loose with Resident Evil, then get ready for his Monster Hunter movie. A new trailer premiered today and it looks…Well, it looks exactly like you’d think it would.

The film stars Milla Jovovich as the brave Captain Artemis. Which is the name of the goddess of hunting…because it’s Monster Hunter…buckle up folks because this is as clever as a Paul W. S. Anderson movie gets.

While looking for a lost team, she and her regimen of big tough army dudes get sucked up in a sandstorm and somehow wind up in the world of Monster Hunter. Unfortunately, their fancy high-tech weaponry and cliched one-liners do nothing to these savage beasts. In order to survive, they need to team up with a mysterious man played by Tony Jaa – who’s too cool to be slumming it in this – who has figured out how to fight back against these abominations.

This movie does not look good. If you were hoping for a faithful adaptation of Monster Hunter, that hope should have died the second you heard Anderson was involved. He’s not the type of director who pays any attention to the lore or basic plot points of the games he makes movies out of. Actually, it’s hard to say if he pays attention to any kind of plot at all. As long as his wife is jumping around killing CGI creatures he seems happy.

There are some bright points in this trailer. It’s nice to see Diablos and Rathalos show up even if they look bland and grey. The weapons look pretty cool and Tony Jaa will possibly get to do some neat fighting moves. If this movie decides to just be completely idiotic and show us tons of army guys getting torn apart by monsters while Jovovich runs around flailing some burning swords then it might be worth a laugh or two.

Other than that, there’s nothing here that looks particularly worthwhile. The monster designs are drab, uninspired, and lack detail or personality. The acting is wooden and full of overused lines like “this is way above my pay grade” or “I’m getting us all home!” The entire movie seems to take place in a desert, which along with the military theme gives it the appearance of a straight-to-DVD rip-off of a Michael Bay production. In short, it’s either going to be terrible or so terrible that it goes full circle and becomes hilariously awesome.

You’ll be able to experience the monster-hunting fun yourself when this movie drops on December 30th. That means it’ll release just in time to be eligible for an Oscar nomination. So look forward to a tense battle at next year’s Academy Awards between Monster Hunter and Sonic The Hedgehog.

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